Re: Jokes Post them here for giggles.

Mon Aug 01, 2022 6:29 pm

All was meant most affectionately @Admin my good friend Smile

Let the fantastic jokes continue!!!

Tue Aug 02, 2022 8:15 am

Why don’t pirates take a shower before they walk the plank?

They just wash up on shore.

Tue Aug 02, 2022 8:16 am

According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form contains only four lines:

1. What was your income for the year?

2. What were your expenses?

3. How much have you left?

4. Send it in.

Tue Aug 02, 2022 8:53 am

Squirrelling coins wrote:According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form contains only four lines:

1. What was your income for the year?

2. What were your expenses?

3. How much have you left?

4. Send it in.

Item No.4... Send 'it' in...
Does this refer to the form itself?

;-6

Tue Aug 02, 2022 10:13 am

ShortJohnSilver wrote:

Squirrelling coins wrote:According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form contains only four lines:

1. What was your income for the year?

2. What were your expenses?

3. How much have you left?

4. Send it in.

Item No.4... Send 'it' in...
Does this refer to the form itself?

;-6

LOL no all your money!!!

Tue Aug 02, 2022 10:22 am

Squirrelling coins wrote:

ShortJohnSilver wrote:

Squirrelling coins wrote:According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form contains only four lines:

1. What was your income for the year?

2. What were your expenses?

3. How much have you left?

4. Send it in.

Item No.4... Send 'it' in...
Does this refer to the form itself?

;-6

LOL no all your money!!!

Oh!
That's no so good then... affraid

Tue Aug 02, 2022 2:52 pm

Love these jokes lol

Wed Aug 03, 2022 4:04 pm

I was invited for dinner with my old friends.

I swore to my wife that I'd be back at midnight. She didn't believe me, but I still went there.

The meal was very tasty, time flied, my blood was already scarce compared to all of the alcohol and I was extremely drunk. At about 3 AM, I went back home. When I came in and closed the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall said "cuckoo" 3 times.

Quickly, thinking that my wife would wake up and have an argument with me, I said "cuckoo" 9 more times.

I was really proud of myself for having a great, quick idea, even while I was drunk, to avoid having a conflict with my wife.

The next morning, she asked me what time did I come back home and I said "midnight". She didn't seem to distrust me, not even a little.

Then she told me:

\- Honey, we need a new cuckoo for our clock!

When I asked her why, she said:

\- Well, this night the cuckoo said "cuckoo" 3 times and said "GAAAAAAH, I'M SCREWED!". It said "cuckoo" 4 more times, then he grunted and belched. It said "cuckoo" 3 more times, farted, crazily laughed and said "cuckoo" 2 more times. Then, it hit the door I left ajar and said "SON OF A B\*\*CH!", stepped on the cat and said "SH\*T!" and only went to bed after falling twice while taking off his clothes. Don't you think we'd better get a new cuckoo while it's still under the warranty?

Wed Aug 03, 2022 6:57 pm

Fri Aug 05, 2022 7:11 am

Did you know that you can tell the gender of an ant by throwing it in water?

If it sinks = girl ant.

If it floats = buoyant.

Fri Aug 05, 2022 10:58 am

ShortJohnSilver wrote:Did you know that you can tell the gender of an ant by throwing it in water?

If it sinks = girl ant.

If it floats = buoyant.

Why did I not see that coming?

OMG that is too dang funny

Mon Aug 08, 2022 9:26 am

Whats your favourite fruit?
Mines bananas i find them appealing

What did Michael jackson call his denim store?
Billie jeans

Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
It got stuck in the crack

I asked my dog hows his week going
He replied its been ruff

How does a computer get drunk?
It takes screen shots

In my previou job i worked at the bank
and i worked their a couple of years and lost my job.
A customer asked if i could check her balance so i pushed her.

I just found out im colourblind, just came out of the blue

Mon Aug 08, 2022 12:14 pm

@Jazz - you've been raiding that box of old Christmas cracker jokes again, haven't you? Jokes Post them here for giggles. - Page 5 1f639

Mon Aug 08, 2022 2:45 pm

@Jazz, the last two got me...
I'm still laughing about the bank teller, behind one of the screens with a boxing glove on the end of a pole, checking people's balance :-D

Mon Aug 08, 2022 4:43 pm

The Cat's Mother wrote: @Jazz - you've been raiding that box of old Christmas cracker jokes again, haven't you?

Have to say Instagram got me this time lol

Mon Aug 08, 2022 4:45 pm

ShortJohnSilver wrote:@Jazz, the last two got me...
I'm still laughing about the bank teller, behind one of the screens with a boxing glove on the end of a pole, checking people's balance :-D

Hahaha cheers buddy

Wed Aug 10, 2022 7:48 pm

Why did the man fall in a well?
Because he couldn’t see that well!

Wed Aug 10, 2022 8:15 pm

ShortJohnSilver wrote:Why did the man fall in a well?
Because he couldn’t see that well!

EXIT STAGE LEFT!!!!!! Shocked

Wed Aug 10, 2022 8:18 pm

Admin wrote:

ShortJohnSilver wrote:Why did the man fall in a well?
Because he couldn’t see that well!

EXIT STAGE LEFT!!!!!!

Are you suggesting I should leave, or that I have left my humour behind...? :-D

Wed Aug 10, 2022 9:02 pm

Admin wrote:

ShortJohnSilver wrote:Why did the man fall in a well?
Because he couldn’t see that well!

EXIT STAGE LEFT!!!!!!

lol

Thu Aug 11, 2022 8:35 am

ShortJohnSilver wrote:

Admin wrote:

ShortJohnSilver wrote:Why did the man fall in a well?
Because he couldn’t see that well!

EXIT STAGE LEFT!!!!!!

Are you suggesting I should leave, or that I have left my humour behind...? :-D

As and American I plead the 5th.

clown

Thu Aug 11, 2022 8:52 am

Admin wrote:

ShortJohnSilver wrote:

Admin wrote:

ShortJohnSilver wrote:Why did the man fall in a well?
Because he couldn’t see that well!

EXIT STAGE LEFT!!!!!!

Are you suggesting I should leave, or that I have left my humour behind...? :-D

As and American I plead the 5th.

Thu Aug 11, 2022 10:47 pm

I was wondering why music was coming from my printer.

Apparently the paper was jamming...

Fri Aug 12, 2022 9:20 am

Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.

Fri Aug 12, 2022 10:03 am

ShortJohnSilver wrote:I was wondering why music was coming from my printer.

Apparently the paper was jamming...

That's how Bob Marley like his doughnuts (with jammin') afro